Just some random musings...

I feel like I am coming to a cross road in my life. I feel like I am about to be radically changed and I don't feel prepared. So a lot of feeling for me. Here is an update on my current life and prospects for the future.
I'm in my 5th year of college.
I should be graduating may 2012 with a B.S. in Human development and family studies.
Yes I realize it is taking me 6 years to complete a 4 year degree.
I changed my major 3 times went part time for two semesters and took a semester off.
I was changed radically my second year in college when I allowed Jesus to take over my life.
I have a passion and heart for children
I am a woman and proud, and slightly traditional in my values
Sam, my friend calls me a puritan due to my slight conservative morals and ideas.
I want to be involved with children that have different disabilities.
I want to be a foster parent along with maybe work in the area of adoption
this past summer I was enlightened to ASL and the Deaf World, my life will never be the same.
I have a heart for deaf children and their education and language. my current view is that deaf children need to have their language (ASL) and also written English so that they can have and obtain a good education. There is a lot more to this to but I am not going into it.
I am going to be volunteering at the Indiana school for the deaf. more details when I have them.
I am going to Gallaudet this summer to take a few ASL classes.
Potentially I am attending graduate school at Gallaudet for social work.
well that is all for now. I pretty much summarized everything that has been buzzing around my head today.

a new experience...

Yesterday I started not feeling that great. Well my ears and my throat hurt. I woke up this morning and I didn't have a voice to mention of and my ears still hurt only to find out when I got on the bus that it is incredibly hard to understand anyone unless they are talking directly to my face in a mostly quiet room and it is useful to have eye contact. yeah. sooooo.... the day progressed and my voice improved and well I still can't hear the best. but now my voice has gone again and my ears are still hurting but there is a new symptom on the list... my chest feels tight and I have this lovely cough that sounds like I have been smoking my whole life. yeah it is funny. I feel well other than the whole no voice or ability to understand anyone clearly. and the cough...
Funny story or two from today.
First I had a chemestry exam and I never realized how much people talk in that class I seriously almost got my exam taken away because I didn't hear/understand the prof tell the class not to turn over the exam and then didn't understand when she was trying to get me to flip it back... ahh the confusion was interesting and people stared until I explained that I couldn't really understand what she was saying so it was hard to know what I was supposed to be doing.
Second, Seth and I went to Nashville to enjoy the lovely fall weather and different activities. We stopped for ice cream and I went in to order. I must have been mumbling or not understood what the guy had asked my because the two different orders I ordered ended up together and then he didn't understand why I was asking for an extra bowl and spoon (so I could separate the two kinds of ice cream) hey the ice cream was really good too! How I love persimmon ice cream.
yeah so if either of the two situations described above gave me any insight to what it would be like to be hard of hearing or deaf... man I don't know how some deal with stupid hearing people and not hurt them lol I am just kidding, well sort of, if was kind of frustrating and embarrassing in class.

Back to blogging... not that anyone really reads this.

Firstly, I have recently noticed how great blogging is in documenting life.
And Secondly, I am sure glad to be used by God even if it is in a traumatic situation.  Soooo... here is the story.

Seth and I  had just gotten his haircut at the barber and we were heading to Bloomington to go to the library. Seth said he was thirsty so since he had been so good at the barber I decided to stop at the BP on 37 to get polar pops. I parked so he could watch the traffic even though I had never parked there before I though it would be a good idea to give Seth something to watch while I quickly got our drinks in the store.
Then while I was in the store the unthinkable happened.  I came out to see a mangled semi on the opposite side of the road and debris all over the large ditch about 20ft in front of Seth. I gave seth his pop and he signed "hurt". and then he signed "car"or "driving". By this time people were gathering in the ditch in the brush. I asked him if there was a car in the ditch and he said "yes" and "help". So since I went to see if I could help with my basic medical knowledge and ability to pray. What I saw was indescribable... the car had been rearranged by the semi as it was slowing down to enter the gas station then what looked like it flipped and slid backwards in the large ditch ending right side up.  As I was figuring out what was going on I realized that Seth had witnessed this accident happened just feet from were he was sitting. Then I made sure someone had called 911 and went and helped a nurse with the situation. the passenger was hurt but conscious and talking. The driver's condition was much different. He had significant skull and facial injuries, was unconscious and bleeding. It was difficult to even find a pulse and he had very spastic and inconsistent breathing even with me and the other lady trying to to keep him stimulated. After a very long time, about 15-20 minutes the ambulance and first responders came and I left the situation in their hands, the man still had a pulse but part of his head injury involved an open skull fracture that not even your imagination could accurately create. About 5 minutes after the ambulance showed up the man died. The woman was transported to the hospital and the only thing left to do was pray and accurately record what happened for the police.
I thank God that he put me in this situation so that I could be a help both spiritually and physically to the victims. I even thing the truck driver that hit them was at the car helping too which is a help to understand the accident was truly regretted and he was trying to help something that he caused.
This really helps me also because my Uncle Harley, who wasn't really an uncle but a father type person to me was killed in a similar crash but he was the semi driver and the car was a drunk driver. He dumped his truck in ditch and killed himself for a drunk driver in a van that he though was a mom and children... yeah so this situation was a blessing in many ways and I am glad that God put me in the position to used by Him and his grace and mercy has been given to me and He has used this situation to also be me healing of the residual pain left from Uncle Harley's death.

Supernatural money? Why yes, it is possible!

   So I have been not looking forward to today since my last pay check, April 1.  I am supposed to be paid biweekly but I had paperwork issues and didn't get paid my last paycheck. On top of the lack of paycheck I was financially drained from gas money because I have to drive so much for my job.
   Today is the 22nd of the month which for me means that all of my bills except rent are due. My dilemma this morning was I had less than a tenth of what I had to pay today or some things would have major issues!  So I woke up and acted like today was a normal day and nothing was up. I went out to my mailbox and found that I had received my state tax refund! (It has been only a week since I have filed!) Also, in my car I found a check that I totally had forgotten about!!!!! So all in all I had plenty of money for my bills that were due today plus money to live with until I get paid! Praise God for his goodness!!   Okay that is all :D

Disappointment stinks!

Have you ever been disappointed by something you didn't even think was that important to you?  I feel like I am invisible at times or maybe people just do not take me seriously. I don't know.  The only thing for me to do is to stay focussed on God and His purpose and then I can be certain that His plan and purpose will be fulfilled and that is the only thing that matters.  Right now I need help with this huge disappointment I am dealing with right now, please help me Jesus!

sometimes the molehill is really a mountain...

A lot has happened lately both spiritually and in everyday life.   Life was going and still is going great, but I have realized that the top of the molehill I thought I was on is really just part of a mountain and I still have to climb to reach the top.
Satan has decided to throw a kink in my financial situation lately and I am believing God or strategies and idea to get out of it. God has even given $100 just to help out, no joke.
But, I need more to survive so I am looking for more paid work.  On another note Zoey has been spending the last few days with me and she is an awesome young lady! Last night I got the chance to pray with her, and she asked Jesus to come into her heart and forgive her sins! And truly believes and says Jesus is Lord!! So right now I am parting with the angels and rejoicing with Zoey that she is going to heaven! I have a feeling she is just the beginning of the parting! Praise God for answered prayer!
Also today I found out the my friend I work with is limping around on his leg and it is hurting him and we don't really know why. :( I am praying that it feels better soon!

My next post I will put up some pictures of the week so far.

God shows love in funny ways sometimes :)

I know God loves me by Jesus die-ing for me but the ways He reminds me of His love can be a little strange.
This morning I was at home thinking about how I was really hungry for vanilla yoghurt with brown sugar and granola and also chicken and noodles. I hand't had my daily yoghurt for about a week and well I can't remember the last time I ate chicken and noodles.
Next, I went to work and in hopes of there being some sort of yoghurt I brought my granola along too. When I got there and opened the fridge to my delight a large thing of Vanilla yoghurt was starting me in the face!!! :O I have NEVER seen vanilla yoghurt at work before! EVER! It was as if God was telling me "I love you! Here is some of that yoghurt you wanted" haha I love God!  Also, right next to the yoghurt was a big pot of... well you guessed it chicken and noodles!!!!!! oh my goodness! I couldn't believe my eyes I quickly grabbed a fork and tested it to make sure it was what I thought it was. I felt as if God was saying to me, "You didn't ask for this but I knew it would make you happy." Thank You God for the amazing food and alone time to get on the internet! This really made my week! I feel extremely blessed right now to be a child of God!

I am frustrated and don't know what to do

So what am I supposed to do when a person I am helping both doesn't completely understand me and is very stubborn in wanting what they want even though he/she doesn't know what they want. Yeah, if that is confusing to you just think that it is even more confusing to me. It's even more frusterating when you try to communicate and the other individual just says no to EVERYTHING you say even if you say "lets get ice cream"  I understand he/she is bored and did a great job at being patient and has a disability but how am I supposed to reward him/her when he/she has sudden bad behavior right before we were supposed to do something fun? I can't so now the individual is upset bored and I don't know what to do. God show me the answer please.

Some more pictures.

A lake on one of the hikes we took last week.

Anja and buddy together on my Birthday or the day after

Pippy enjoying his VERY rare car ride

Seth on my Birthday at the lake. This was right before Buddy jumped up on the table to see him :)

I loved how the water looked in this picture

Blessed to be a blessing

I have noticed recently how not fun it is to not have money to be able to bless people with random things. I enjoy showing God's love through things such as a pack of diapers, a pair of holiday socks or maybe just some cookies.  I guess I am going to have to find other, less expensive things to give like maybe mailing letters via snail mail or pictures or something, watching children without cost. All in all I am striving to be a good stuart of my finances and time so that I may be blessed to be a blessing to others.

On another note here is a picture to think about...
and yes, this is how she sleeps! lol I love Anja!

22 years of being on the planet

Yesterday was my 22nd Birthday. It is a sobering experience to have your older sister tell you that 22 is great just because there is nothing to look forward to anymore you are forever an adult... I am going to darn to challenge that thought and asked God to give me a plan and vision for not only this year but also 3, 5 and for 10 years down the road. The reason I am doing this is I believe my life has purpose and I have a lot to look forward to as I follow God into the destiny he has for my life!

So here are a few words God has given me for the year to come so far:

Change

Maturity

expansion/ growth

A heart

Love

connection

passion

I was listening to a friend's video blog today with a duel effort of both growing in my German language capabilities and also learning about what has been on his heart. In his last blog he mentioned a quote from Mike Bikle that really spoke to my heart and convicted me to change.

“Money is power, but time is life. You squander your time, you actually squander your destiny.” – Mike Bickle

Wow! Isn't that powerful! This made me think, what do I do with my time? Why do I feel so busy but never feel as though I have accomplished anything? and What are my priorities? And Does my hearts priorities line up with the my time's priorities?

So, what are my heart's priorities?

God

family /Seth the boy I work with

others

friends

making connections

myself

What occupies the most of my time?

too much sleep

TV (WAY too much)

Seth

driving to and from places

unfocused activities

such as taking an hour to clean dishes that would take 15min...

Hiking

Interenet

How I am going to minimize the time I waste.

Be strict on a sleeping schedule, 7 hours

make a list of what needs to be done daily and give a time limit to encourage myself to be an effect worker, not a sloppy one

Set specific time each day to dive into God's Word. at least a half hour twice a day of just Word

Use hiking time as prayer time

Go out of my way to call at least one family member 5 days out of the week

No TV until God allows, includes movies

Invest time into others don't just spend time with them. there is a difference

Internet is to be restricted and focused time.

Use Facebook/twitter as tools to connect not as a time waster.....

Okay time to get off. I will continue later.

More pictures

So I am sitting at Starbucks freezing so I've decided to post more pictures and may blog later.

Anja at the Bakehouse the other day

Seth and his Pooh bear

Anja investigating the water on a hike in the forrest

and empty cup from a yoghurt, nut, brown sugar thing I made the other day for breakfast

uninteresting post...

So I have not blogged in about a week. It's not that nothing has happened in my life it is that I never have internet when I have something I want to blog about. On the news front though is that God is most definitely doing something with my heart. :) God is preparing the IU campus for a great awakening so that when it comes our seeds will not fall on barren ground but will land on fertile soil and sprout healthy trees that will grow strong roots. YES Lord!

Also...

Anja and I have been going on hikes ever since we became a duo nearly three weeks ago. A result of this I have started to really enjoy taking pictures. I will put some pictures up of our walks this past week. It is truly amazing to watch all the plants come back to life.

the incredible egg! :)

So a lot has happened recently but the pressing issue right now has to do with this question.

How do you master the ability to peel a boiled egg one day and fail miserably the next?? The people I rent from live under me and have chickens in the back yard so I have fresh eggs to eat (yum) this the main reason I eat so many eggs :).

This is my amazingly near perfect egg from the other day.

And this from this morning.

But no worries it all results in the same thing, greatness! :)

Okay that is all for today.

Things coming up this week...

I am donating blood

Skyping with Manu!!!!!

Working on my German with Georg

The Spring Encounter

Getting Olympic mittens from Victory International Church!

and I am sure there will be a couple of hikes in the monroe/morgan state forrest with Anja too

Faithfulness

So lately I have really noticed how faithful God is even if I don't have faith in Him. To sum my last two months up I have supernaturally been provided with over $1000 to move into a new apartment, the new place is perfect! I have awesome landpeople and neighbors and it is in the country along with half the distance to work and the same distance to church than it was before. Secondly I have gotten a dog that is awesome! God has restored my relationship with my friends and I have come out of my funk of stress and am truly happy! For example the other day I took my dog Anja on a walk in lower cascades park and at the end I found a swing set and just began swinging and sining at the top of my lungs praising God and laughing, I bet the Muslim monks loved is haha. That is when I realized that I am truly happy and only God with his goodness, mercy and faithfulness can do that!

Here is a picture of my new addition her name is Anja